Many grandparents, as I do, believe that when our grandchildren come over, we don’t need screen time to have fun. However, I pull out my tablet when my grandson is over. He is forever discovering fun apps that he wants to share with me. I really do learn something new every time. Undoubtedly, screen time presents an opportunity to connect with grandchildren
What about when screen time starts to dominate our time together? Should we care? And if so, how much screen time is good time.
We need to care because studies show that the best learning for children, especially those under five, comes from face-to-face interaction, in real time and with real people. Grandparents play an essential role in that
What is the balance?
The Canadian Pediatric Society offers insights by age group that can help.
Newborns to age 2: the critical early years
For newborns to toddlers up to age 2, avoid screen time altogether, except for video chatting with an adult. Video chats with the little ones is okay, however, your grandchild’s parent may be willing to have a video chat with you but they don’t want to have your grandchild looking at the screen. That’s ok. It is important that your grandchild hear your voice. Also, send a picture of yourself to your grandchild’s parent and ask they put it near the little on when you are on video chat. This way they will hear your voice and see your picture. – face to voice kind of thing.
Preschoolers age 2-5
Limited and supervised screen time works as our grandchildren enter the preschool years. Some good educational, age-appropriate content can be beneficial in moderation.
Age 6 – 12
During the elementary school years, watching screen time becomes even more vital. Limit recreation screen time to no more than two hours per visit.
Here are 5 tips for managing screen time
Here are some tips offered through the studies done by the Canadian Pediatrics Society and MediaSmart, a Canadian not-for-profit for digital and media literacy.
Have conversations
- Discuss with our grandchildren’s parents and ensure we are working together to reap the educational benefits of screen time and reduce the risks of too much screen time.
- Ask the parents to provide toys, games and books to help keep the grandkids busy when they come over.
- Ask the grandchildren about screen time. What do they watch? Why do they like watching it? What do they think they learn from it? How did they find out about it? What do they do when they watch? Do they do other things at the same time? If so, what?
- Speak proactively with children and teens about acceptable and unacceptable online behaviours. It is an opportunity to share our values with them.
Set some rules
- Set strict rules like not more than an hour before bedtime or during meals. This becomes particularly important when the grandchildren bring a device from home and expect even more screen time because they are at their grandparents.
- Make and regularly review or revise a Family Media Plan, including individualized time and content limits. Common Sense Media also offers a Family Media Agreement that puts the onus of the grandchild to be responsible and requires us to recognize the need for conversation before jumping to conclusions.
- Establish “screen-free” times of a minimum of one hour, especially for family meals and socializing. This should be at minimum one hour.
Set them up to enjoy their visit without devices
- Remove the TV or computer from the bedroom. It is good to remember when the grandchildren stay overnight.
- Have other activities ready to suggest, like family board games, puzzles, or spending time outdoors.
- Challenge your grandchildren to a no-screen visit. Find things to do with your time that get them (and you) moving and burning energy.
- Be present, co-view and talk about content with children and teens. Line up activities with the grandchildren that will allow them to focus on a shared experience with you such as singing or dancing. .
Be present, be engaged
- Join during video game play and ask about their experiences and online encounters.
- Watch for signs of problematic screen use at any age, including the following:
- Complaints about being bored or unhappy without access to technology.
- Oppositional behaviour in response to screen time limits.
- Screen use that interferes with sleep, school or face-to-face interactions.
- Screen time that interferes with offline play, physical activities or socializing face-to-face.
Lead by example
- Walk the talk. Decrease your own screen time to 2 hours a day. Check your behaviour. How often do you check your phone or tablet when the grandchildren are around? Unless you are waiting for something, resist the urge to keep looking, because it takes away from your time with the grandchildren.
- Learn about parental controls and privacy settings.
- Obtain the child’s or teen’s passwords and login information for devices and social media accounts to help ensure safety online and to follow online profiles and activities if concerns arise.
Screen time can be a very positive time. A shared experience that encourages play and conversation. It can help us get to know our grandchildren better.